Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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