I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
