A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
