We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
