CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
it was like having sex with a tree stump
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
