the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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