No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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