Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
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