My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
my being single is dangerous.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
