are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
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