Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
the liver wants what the liver wants
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
