I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
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