I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Its about making memories worth repressing
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
The convent might be a nice break from real life
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