i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Redeem this text for a blowjob
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
