you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
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