But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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