I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
So I just went to clothing optional bar
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
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