Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
