watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize