I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
