She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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