im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
