i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
