Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize