I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
