I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
