The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
