apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
