They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Randomize
