i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
