I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
