I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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