this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
