You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
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