A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
ttyl tear gas
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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