We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
