3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
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