you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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