just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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