how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
