I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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