"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
