Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize
