That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
the room spins SO much faster in panama
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
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