Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
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