you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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