i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize
