After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize