3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
