just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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