So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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