and i looked up. we had an audience...
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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