she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
The struggles of a small town man whore
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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