We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
