I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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