how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Walk of Shame today included voting.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
