ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
