some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Randomize
