Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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