I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
