I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
