Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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