planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
