don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
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