At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
