Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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